Apologies for the lengthy post, the shorter version will be provided at the end. Just as the headline states, my spouse's sibling made advances towards me at a recent family gathering and I am uncertain how to handle the situation. The background is as follows: I believe my significant other, Jenna, is an exquisite individual, yet she struggles with accepting her physical appearance. This challenge primarily stems from her sibling, Mary, who is conventionally beautiful, contrasting with Jenna's unique and, in my opinion, more striking beauty.
Until recently, Mary enjoyed a successful career in modeling and now works in the fashion sector. From the initial stages of my relationship with Jenna, whenever I praised her beauty, she would consistently respond with, "You haven't seen my sibling yet." Upon meeting her family, she persistently inquired about my opinions on her sister's attractiveness compared to hers. I always honestly expressed that while I found Mary attractive, it was a more standard beauty, whereas my spouse possessed a more captivating and compelling beauty. Jenna fixated on this topic until I eventually addressed my discomfort with the situation and questioned its significance.
During this conversation, Jenna revealed her lifelong struggle with self-image, as she had constantly been compared to her sibling since childhood. Their family had perpetuated the classic "one is intelligent, the other is beautiful" dynamic throughout their lives. Jenna also disclosed that Mary had flirted with her past partners and warned me that the same might occur. I emphatically reassured Jenna that I would remain faithful to her and underlined my unwavering admiration for her since our first meeting.
Initially, I dismissed Jenna's concerns about Mary's flirtatious behavior as stemming from insecurity, but I realized my error. During family gatherings, Mary would frequently touch me inappropriately and make suggestive comments, causing discomfort, particularly for Jenna. Despite addressing this behavior multiple times, it would temporarily cease before resuming. This pattern has persisted for six years, each recurrence leaving Jenna distressed for extended periods, necessitating considerable effort on my part to comfort and reassure her.
Fast forward to the recent issue: At a family event celebrating my mother-in-law's birthday, Mary requested assistance from me in the garage. Upon entering, she abruptly initiated a kiss by pressing me against the door, claiming it was mutual desire. I rebuffed her advances and questioned her actions. She responded flippantly, asserting that I desired it, to which I firmly rejected her and promptly left to inform Jenna of our departure. During the ensuing conversation, Jenna probed for details, and despite anticipating her distress, I disclosed the incident to prevent potential misrepresentation by Mary.
Over subsequent days, Mary bombarded Jenna with messages and calls, depicting a false narrative suggesting I found her irresistible, necessitating numerous reassurances to dispel this fabrication. Jenna, reacting to the falsehood, has plunged into anguish, exhibiting disordered eating habits, avoiding physical contact, and expressing feelings of ugliness and repulsiveness. Witnessing Jenna in this distressing state is profoundly painful, and I am at a loss regarding how best to aid her recovery. Reddit, what steps should I take?
In summary, my wife's sibling attempted to initiate a romantic encounter with me, exacerbating my wife's struggles with self-image. How can I support her during this challenging time?
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